{"id":289,"date":"2008-11-02T09:21:39","date_gmt":"2008-11-02T14:21:39","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lisademmi.com\/?p=289"},"modified":"2008-11-02T09:21:39","modified_gmt":"2008-11-02T14:21:39","slug":"church","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lisademmi.com\/church\/","title":{"rendered":"church"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>this morning i attended church for the first time in 6 months\u2026didn\u2019t even realize that fact until this morning. i found myself feeling guilty, sad, a little ticked that i was feeling guilty and sad, happy to be back, peaceful and completely emotional about the whole thing. i was so happy to see my friends (who incidentally welcomed me back with open arms regardless of the time i had missed). what\u2019s the problem you ask? the problem is that i worry that i over analyze at times and that being there after being someone very much involved and missing so much time made me feel like a hypocrite (i painted for the kids, was part of the welcome team and played in the band). why did i feel like a hypocrite? because i got burned out on church with everything i was doing (i\u2019m a big girl and could\u2019ve said no anytime) and i was holding a grudge against my church. isn\u2019t that like holding a grudge against God? actually, writing it now makes me laugh at myself. i felt pretty good in general about going again and will be back next sunday i\u2019m sure. what\u2019s bothering me about this is that i ask myself if i\u2019m looking for religion to \u201cfix\u201d something and put my faith in Him and i\u2019m not sure i completely surrender to that\u2026am i full of bulls%#$? or did i lose you at 6 months? i know there are lots of you out there that are more knowledgeable and comfortable with religion ( i still consider myself a religion newbie) and would be curious to hear what you think or tell me to stop whining and don\u2019t make a mountain out of a molehill.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>this morning i attended church for the first time in 6 months\u2026didn\u2019t even realize that fact until this morning. i found myself feeling guilty, sad, a little ticked that i was feeling guilty and sad, happy to be back, peaceful and completely emotional about the whole thing. i was so happy to see my friends [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","_mi_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[37],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v21.8 - 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