Last Saturday I ran a mud run. No big deal you might think. Good for you. Here’s why it’s significant.

25 years ago or so, I weighed 231 pounds. That’s 231 pounds on my 5′ 4″ body. You do the math; that’s almost a half a pound per inch. I was round, uncomfortable, and really just unhealthy. I lost the weight and have kept it off mostly for the last 25 years. I learned to eat better, to exercise, and to take care of myself a little bit more.

Fast forward to 2019, I have found CrossFit, Paleo, and am generally a more healthy person all around. That said, I will likely never be an elite athlete. I don’t want to be. I live on this planet and I want to enjoy my time here. Sometimes, I eat too much, I drink too much, and I do things that would not be considered healthy. Everything in moderation, yes?

OK, yes, Lisa. But where’s the magic?

Great question. A few months back I agreed to do a Mud Run with my people from Post 9/11 Veterans. I am on the board and part of our mission is to get out with veterans and do things together. I might be biased in saying this but it’s a great group of people and the mission is solid. So, back to a few months ago…you know how you agree to do something and it sounds good at the time? Then you get to the day of and you start thinking “what was I thinking?” That was me. Yes, I work out. Yes, I’m much healthier. Yes, these are my friends who I love. But run a 5k that starts at 9pm that includes obstacles and mud? What was I thinking?

I did try to get out of it but I conceded and I’m glad I did. I chose doing the run and let go of that obstacle (see what I did there?). Then I just decided I would do my best. AND that’s what I did. While I couldn’t do all the obstacles (I did all but three), I did do many that I thought I wouldn’t be able to do with help from my team. AND afterwards, muddy, tired, and hurting a bit, I could not have been more proud of my team and even more so, of me.

You know, I am always going to experience challenges in my life and I am always going to have some fear of not being able to do something new. But I will never stop challenging myself to do more than I think because the feeling of conquering yourself is one of the best feelings you can have.

My goal that night was not to be the best on the course. Instead, my goal was to be the best me on the course. and that is exactly what I did. That was the Small Magic. I just kept putting one foot in front of the other until I got to the finish line.

What’s next? I don’t know yet. I only know that there is something. AND I will conquer that too.

Here’s the kicker. I made it to that finish line but now the finish line has moved farther. I have to challenge myself a little more for the next time. And as I sit here with ice on my knees three days later, I look forward to whatever that next challenge is. That 231 pound me could NEVER have done something like this.

Now, I have. And I know that I am capable of so much more.

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Great question. It goes in there for several reasons:

1. It got your attention, didn’t it? You were reading my bio, looking at my FB page all innocent and stuff and there it was. Made you stop a second, right? You were interested.
2. I want you to know me. People like to do business with people they know, like, and trust. You’ll definitely get to know me after hearing the stories of all the trucker hats. You might like me because of them and maybe, even trust me (the jury is still out for that last one).
3. I want you to get a sense of my personality. Some of these stories are sad, most are funny, and some are nice. You’ll get to know what I’m about a little more after reading these stories of all these hats over the next several months.

All of this to say, it DOES tie into my social media philosophy. I think the best use of Social Media is to use it as a relationship tool. It’s not really a sales tool, although sales will likely result from people getting to know you more. That’s the good news.

The other good news? You don’t have to have 30 plus trucker hats in order for you to do it.
Find whatever YOUR thing is and share that.

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Last week I delivered a commencement speech to the 2018 Graduating Class of Bell Creek Academy. As I was reading it for final review, I realized that this was NOT just for these graduates, but for everyone and I decided to share it here with you.

Welcome students, friends, family, and faculty. AND congratulations to the graduates of 2018!

When I was asked to do this speech, I was actually a little worried. I’m no one famous, I haven’t invented the cure for cancer, I haven’t broken any scholastic or athletic records and I’m still trying to make an impact on the world I live in. I’m not like any of those people.

And that’s when it hit me. I don’t need to be any of those. I’m different from all of them and that’s a good thing. Often, I think we try SO hard to be like everyone else and we forget who we really are. Being different is good, being different allows you to distinguish yourself from others, being different helps you stand out from the crowd and being different is where your gift lives.

That said, I do have four guiding principle that I live by and they have always served me well. They are KINDNESS, COMPARISON, RELATIONSHIP, and AUTHENTICITY.

I encourage you to look at your new journey and try these on to see if they might be a fit for you.

• KINDNESS- Always be kind. It’s so simple, yet really impactful. Today, it’s really easy to be self absorbed and only consider what’s in it for me. We don’t let people in line in traffic. We don’t hold doors open anymore. We don’t smile as say hello to people we meet daily. What if we did? How many times has a kind word changed your day completely? There have been plenty of times that someone has let me merge in traffic. My attitude after that is always thankfulness and probably a little relief. I’m thankful that someone was actually nice enough to let me in AND I’m relieved that the guy behind me will finally stop creeping up closer and closer to my rear bumper because he’s impatient. When the opposite happens and no one lets me in, I get more irritated, I might mumble some curse words under my breath or loudly and the guy behind me continues to creep closer and closer to my rear bumper which really just makes things even worse. How different of a day will I have now? So please, let if you see, let me in traffic. I have a maroon Durango. Remember- be kind.
• COMPARISON- Comparison can be an ugly and self-destructive thing. AND combine that with social media and it’s even more dangerous. Stop comparing yourself to other people. You will never be them and you shouldn’t want or try to. I started doing CrossFit about 2 years ago and I remember when I first got there, people were lifting WAY more weight than me, getting through their workouts faster than me, and it used to bother me a lot. I’d load up the bar an try SO hard but I couldn’t even budge it in some cases and I’d end up leaving the gym disappointed and feeling defeated. AND the workouts just weren’t effective because I wasn’t using good form or I was trying too hard to keep up. Finally, I realized that the only person I needed to be better than was me. These people had been doing CrossFit way longer than I had and it wasn’t an even comparison. It’s just like that with anything. Your experiences are always going to be different from every one else’s and to compare your self to them would be a disservice to both of you. Always strive to be better than you were yesterday, even if it’s just a little bit. Let that be the bar with which you use to measure your progress, not someone else.
• RELATIONSHIP & CONNECTION- these are two concepts that work together. Have you ever been to a restaurant and seen people sitting together at a table all looking at their phones? That’s not connection; that’s separation. Take that time to be with each other. It’s like sitting together, but alone. I’m half expecting someone to text someone else to pass the salt. Something else I see, too often we are in our own boxes, our own segments whether it be political, religious, beliefs, race, gender and so much more. The one thing we ALL are is human. Strive to be connected with ALL people. The only way we can make a difference is by embracing each other’s differences and creating authentic relationships. You want to be a change agent? Get to know all other people and see all perspectives. You don’t have to agree and it will expand the lens with which you view the world.
• AUTHENTICITY- Always be authentically you. You do not have to fit in anyone else’s mold. God made each and every one of us different for a reason. He knew that we could each bring something different to the planet. Celebrate your uniqueness and see it as your strength. When you try to be something you aren’t, it hurts you and eventually, you’ll be “discovered.” Your beauty and gifts come from your individuality and your mark on the world will be a product of your courage to be truly you.

Almost done…

Here’s my challenge to you. You’re really at the beginning of your journey. You have energy and vision and way more power than you think you do. Each and every one of you can and will make your mark on the world. What it looks like is up to you. Enjoy this milestone, your graduation day. It’s special and important and marks something extraordinary. BUT, don’t get too comfortable, because you all have an impact to make and we’ll be watching.

Sincere congratulations to you all!

The post To All Graduates (And Pretty Much Everyone Else) of the Class of 2018 appeared first on Lisa Demmi.

That’s ok. I decided this year I’d do the holidays on my own schedule.

This year has already flown by and I’d like to savor my favorite three months( you know, November, December and January- my birth month!)

I cherish this time of year. People are generally in better spirits and maybe, even a little nicer to each other. Ok, the exception is Black Friday when people are beating the crap out of each other to get a $45 74-inch flat screen at Walmart.

Think about it. We volunteer this time of year. We donate food, money, time. AND that’s all great! BUT, and it’s a big but, why now? Why not all year long? Don’t people need a little help at other times of the year? Isn’t kindness a gift you can give to anyone any day? I’m pretty sure I’d accept it anytime.

The way I see it? I’m WAY more fortunate than most people and if there’s something I can do to help someone, put a smile on their face or make things just a little bit easier, then why not do it?

Guess who wins? We all do.

So don’t save all your kindness for this time of the year. Do something every month, every day. AND it doesn’t have to be a grand gesture. It can be as small as saying “thank you,” holding a door open or smiling at someone.

Sometimes, that’s all people need. I promise you won’t be sorry.

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Grandma was always a little bit of a character but as she got older, she just didn’t care really. She had no filter and said what she wanted, did what she wanted and unapologetically, told a little lie here or there.

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Now, let’s define with that means in our family. That doesn’t mean that we don’t get scolded, sent to our rooms or spanked with a paddle from a paddleball game ( her favorite weapon of choice ) when we deserved it. What that does mean is that she was strict with us but fair and we always knew she loved us, no matter what.

Paddle ball in action

Let me give you a small example: my sisters and I shared two rooms among four girls, so you can imagine how “painful” that may have been for us. Well, it was just that much more painful for my mother.

Occasionally, as young girls, our rooms might have gotten a little out of control messy. It happens. My mom’s solution for this was to come into our rooms and use her arm as a tool to knock everything off our dressers. For some reason, I always remember this in slow motion. It was maybe a little dramatic, but it got our attention. ( Side note: I may or may not have done this to a past girlfriend of mine who was prone to leaving stacks of mail, papers, etc. on the table by the front door).

After this incident, mom went back about her day, not as if nothing had happened but as if this was a normal part of her routine. Make breakfast, take the girls to school, do laundry, pick the girls up, wreak havoc, make dinner. AND the underlying theme was always LOVE. We knew this. She was the safe place to land for us. No matter what we did wrong, we always knew we were loved and cared for.

To this day, we know that occasionally, we still want our mommy, because she was always there. NOT to tell us everything would be OK, because that wasn’t always the truth BUT to show us that we would/could make it through anything.

I put it this way:
We fight hard, we live loud, and we love big.

#SmallMagic indeed.

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Wow, Lisa, your mom sounds amazing. But where is the small magic?

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Last week, I talked about being on a roller coaster (still on it and screaming like a little girl the whole way) AND learning to embrace it.

The parts of the roller coaster ride but I really do enjoy are the swings back up and get a get a place where I’m not falling or dropping. If the moment of weightlessness when I feel like I’m untouchable. While that feels really good for a moment, I realize that it’s temporary and the hard work and obstacles are about to begin and/or present themselves again.

It’s inevitable and quite frankly, I NEED that.

Here’s the trap for me. I get seduced by the attention and I think I’m good, untouchable, not hungry anymore, complacent. This is not good for me.

I want to remember that I will never be done, never be the best I can be, always be striving for more. It’s so much easier to believe the hype about yourself. In fact, I create it; it’s not real. I do it because I want a break and I fabricate it, because it feels good. We all want attention, props, attaboys and attagirls. I’m not suggesting you blow off or disbelieve people who compliment you. What I’m saying is don’t let it fool you into thinking you’ve reached your goal.

If you’re not growing or striving to do or be more, you are a flatline. A flatline means you’re dead. (Thanks, Deb Cheslow)

So, accept your congratulations, enjoy the attention, but remember that this is just temporary. You have to do the work to be better, and we can all benefit from striving to be better.

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DISCLAIMER: no one was physically attacked or harmed during the writing of this post.

Who wants to be vulnerable? No one! No one in their right mind wants to knowingly make themselves susceptible to any kind of attack or harm.

BUT… living a life of small magic means you do.

First, let’s address why you’d even consider a life of small magic.
Ask yourself these questions:
1) Am I happy?
2) Am I satisfied with the world today?
3) Do I want to be a part of positively affecting my community?
4) Can I easily explain the process of making a proper peanut butter and jelly sandwich?

If you answered “NO” to one or two, or “YES” to three, then keep reading. Regardless of your answer to number four, watch this video because it’s funny and laughing is always a good thing.

Great – so you’re still reading, right?

OK, so why is vulnerability small magic?
Here’s why:
Small magic is all about connecting, taking chances when you’re not sure of the outcome. It’s about reaching out to people you don’t know and attempting to find common ground. It’s about making a small change, that wall small, it’s still new and outside of your comfort zone.

You may think “I’m comfortable where I am.” BUT remember those questions you answered… Yeaaaaahh…

Without vulnerability, there is no magic, no growth, no connection.

You’re still reading so I know that isn’t good enough for you.

Try new things! What’s the worst that could happen? You fail? Big deal! Thomas Edison field 10,000 times before he got electricity right. Would you be good without electricity right now? People called him crazy. How’s that for vulnerability? He didn’t care because he KNEW he could do it and the pay off is way better than playing it safe.

SO… go be an Edison, take chances, be vulnerable, perform small magic.

Oh, and every time you use electricity, you’ll remember this post. I got that going for me.

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