Some of you know that my wife, Lynn, is a General Contractor and that we own a construction company. This year has been one of her best and this Summer completely exploded. As luck would have it, my speaking business falls flat every Summer. Not sure why, but it does. This Summer I have been able to help her quite a bit, which is great because she needed it! Now, you aren’t likely to see me on a job site too too much. I typically work behind the scenes. BUT I am known to cut a nice paint line and I can supervise a clean up like no one’s business.

Here’s what’s so important about this hat. It represents the blood, sweat, and tears of my wife’s hard work. She built it from nothing and I am so very proud of her. She is good at it, she likes it, and people are nuts about working with her. Here’s the other thing. This is not my dream; it’s hers. BUT  this has helped so much more with MY dream than any of you could ever know. It has allowed me to continue pursuing my dream because it affords our family a living.

It took me a while to get that into my thick skull. I was SO into my own dream that I didn’t see what was right in front of me. AND I certainly didn’t appreciate it. This Summer, I realized just how important this hat is and what it means to me.

So, here’s the lesson for you. Sometimes, the things that are most important are not in your main vision. Sometimes, we don’t even want to see them because we are too in our own things and our own heads. I’ll remind you to stop and look at what you have and what it gives you. And then, be grateful for it. I know I am.

When you change your mindset, you change your life.

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Last Saturday I ran a mud run. No big deal you might think. Good for you. Here’s why it’s significant.

25 years ago or so, I weighed 231 pounds. That’s 231 pounds on my 5′ 4″ body. You do the math; that’s almost a half a pound per inch. I was round, uncomfortable, and really just unhealthy. I lost the weight and have kept it off mostly for the last 25 years. I learned to eat better, to exercise, and to take care of myself a little bit more.

Fast forward to 2019, I have found CrossFit, Paleo, and am generally a more healthy person all around. That said, I will likely never be an elite athlete. I don’t want to be. I live on this planet and I want to enjoy my time here. Sometimes, I eat too much, I drink too much, and I do things that would not be considered healthy. Everything in moderation, yes?

OK, yes, Lisa. But where’s the magic?

Great question. A few months back I agreed to do a Mud Run with my people from Post 9/11 Veterans. I am on the board and part of our mission is to get out with veterans and do things together. I might be biased in saying this but it’s a great group of people and the mission is solid. So, back to a few months ago…you know how you agree to do something and it sounds good at the time? Then you get to the day of and you start thinking “what was I thinking?” That was me. Yes, I work out. Yes, I’m much healthier. Yes, these are my friends who I love. But run a 5k that starts at 9pm that includes obstacles and mud? What was I thinking?

I did try to get out of it but I conceded and I’m glad I did. I chose doing the run and let go of that obstacle (see what I did there?). Then I just decided I would do my best. AND that’s what I did. While I couldn’t do all the obstacles (I did all but three), I did do many that I thought I wouldn’t be able to do with help from my team. AND afterwards, muddy, tired, and hurting a bit, I could not have been more proud of my team and even more so, of me.

You know, I am always going to experience challenges in my life and I am always going to have some fear of not being able to do something new. But I will never stop challenging myself to do more than I think because the feeling of conquering yourself is one of the best feelings you can have.

My goal that night was not to be the best on the course. Instead, my goal was to be the best me on the course. and that is exactly what I did. That was the Small Magic. I just kept putting one foot in front of the other until I got to the finish line.

What’s next? I don’t know yet. I only know that there is something. AND I will conquer that too.

Here’s the kicker. I made it to that finish line but now the finish line has moved farther. I have to challenge myself a little more for the next time. And as I sit here with ice on my knees three days later, I look forward to whatever that next challenge is. That 231 pound me could NEVER have done something like this.

Now, I have. And I know that I am capable of so much more.

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Here are two things that came to mind when I started thinking about this blog post.

1) I have always had a hard time in the past admitting I was something because I never thought I was good enough. Now, after the fact, when there’s nothing at stake, I’ll announce it like no one’s business! But the during is the hard part. I can’t tell you how many times that has tripped me up or become some sort of made up obstacle that I put in my pwn way. When I was a professional touring musician, I never told people that was my main job. I always shied away from it. When I owned a marketing firm, I really didn’t tell people I was a marketing professional. I played the part though. And now, most recently, I don’t want to tell people that I’m a motivational speaker. But, it’s true. AND I’ll start saying it now, while I’m doing it, instead of waiting for years from now, when I’m no longer in the business. What’s the common denominator? Lack of belief in myself. AND that is just some bullshit. I’m good. I know it. I can and have motivated scores and scores of people. I even have proof; they have told me. My clients have thanked me. My friends and colleagues have sent me notes showing gratitude for my advice, direction, and support. What the hell else do I need? I need ME to believe it.

2) A friend, colleague, mentor, AND freaking amazing person made me rethink my own hesitation to call myself a motivational speaker. Elizabeth McCormick is a kick ass, bad ass, and UH-mazing speaker and human. Recently, I got to spend a day with her and she told it like it was. She declared, “I’m a motivational speaker.” And then unabashedly explained why she very enthusiastically took on that title. She say that she motivates and inspires people. True. I have seen her in action. She motivates and inspires me. Another thing she said was really brilliant and simple. She said that a lot people are looking for that, not all the other fancy things we call ourselves. So, why wouldn’t she claim it? Duh.

So, armed with this new insight and a belief in myself, I proudly claim the title of Motivational Speaker. What is it that you’re not claiming about yourself. Believe it. Say it out loud to yourself. It’s true. You just gotta get you on board; the rest of us already are.

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So, last week I ran a 5k with some friends. First, I want to be completely transparent here and let you know I jogged it (people were walking faster than I ran). Second, while I did not set any land speed records, I did take 30 seconds off my most recent PR. Oh, and a bunch of kids and several 80-year-old plus runners totally left me in the dust. Whatevs. I did it. I ran (jogged) all the way, and I took some time off my split.

I bet you’re thinking “Great lesson, Lisa!” You pushed through, you persevered, and you finished….and then you remember the part about the Anti- Chafe cream.

I have “muscley” legs. Always have. I remember when I was much younger that my swim coach told my Mom that I had legs like an ox. I wasn’t ever quite sure how to take that but I think it meant I had a good kick. At least that’s what I’m going with.
AND since said legs are so “muscley,” they tend to rub together when I run. And long (for me the 5k IS long) distances tend to leave me with a bit if a chafing situation. And I don’t like it.

Once I decided I was going to keep doing this running thing (there is always beer or some kind of carb I won’t usually eat waiting after the end of each race so why wouldn’t I?), I thought I would have to address the chafing situation. That’s where I discovered For HER Anti-Chafe & Moisturizing Balm. It is my new best friend and I have pretty much been using it for every race or long run for the last two years.

Again, you’re probably saying to yourself “thanks for the tip, Lisa! We appreciate you!” But then you remember the lesson and now, you’re wondering again.

So here’s the deal. I like to put this stuff on very shortly before I’m to run. Most of the time, I have it in a little bag and I carry my phone, cream, and keys with me. Once we get closer to start time, I apply. It does not look pretty to reach down between your legs and take out what looks like a deodorant roller and rub it all over the inside of your thighs. It is NOT sexy. BUT it does work. Usually, I’ll hide behind someone, a tree, a car, whet have you and put it on. That one time I didn’t have any place to duck into; I didn’t put it on. I was in pain for a couple days. Why didn’t I put it on? Because I didn’t want to look bad or awkward or be the lady with the big legs.

You feeling me?

It was all about looking good or even better, not looking bad. That race taught me a lesson.

This past weekend, as we were getting closer to start time, I just reached down in the crowd of about 1500 or so and liberally applied my anti-chafe cream. I did not give a damn about looking bad, good, whatever. I wanted to do what was best for me and that was to put on the dang cream. And that is what I did and for 54 minutes and 25 seconds, I was totally comfortable because I stopped worrying about what other people think.

SO, to wrap this whole thing up and tie it in a nice ribbon for you, here’s the lesson.

Worrying about looking good usually doesn’t serve you. I can recall many times that I wanted to look cool and I didn’t do what I wanted or didn’t trust my gut. Every single time I have regretted it. Once, I learned that not worrying what others think of me is powerful and strong, I stopped having an issue with it. And I’m happier for it.

I’m not gonna lie and tell you I never worry anymore; I am certainly a work in progress. But I do get over it quicker and I do worry about others’ opinions less and less. And that is a SMALL step of progress.

OK, my next run is in July. Who wants in? I might even share my anti-chafe cream with you!

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Last week I delivered a commencement speech to the 2018 Graduating Class of Bell Creek Academy. As I was reading it for final review, I realized that this was NOT just for these graduates, but for everyone and I decided to share it here with you.

Welcome students, friends, family, and faculty. AND congratulations to the graduates of 2018!

When I was asked to do this speech, I was actually a little worried. I’m no one famous, I haven’t invented the cure for cancer, I haven’t broken any scholastic or athletic records and I’m still trying to make an impact on the world I live in. I’m not like any of those people.

And that’s when it hit me. I don’t need to be any of those. I’m different from all of them and that’s a good thing. Often, I think we try SO hard to be like everyone else and we forget who we really are. Being different is good, being different allows you to distinguish yourself from others, being different helps you stand out from the crowd and being different is where your gift lives.

That said, I do have four guiding principle that I live by and they have always served me well. They are KINDNESS, COMPARISON, RELATIONSHIP, and AUTHENTICITY.

I encourage you to look at your new journey and try these on to see if they might be a fit for you.

• KINDNESS- Always be kind. It’s so simple, yet really impactful. Today, it’s really easy to be self absorbed and only consider what’s in it for me. We don’t let people in line in traffic. We don’t hold doors open anymore. We don’t smile as say hello to people we meet daily. What if we did? How many times has a kind word changed your day completely? There have been plenty of times that someone has let me merge in traffic. My attitude after that is always thankfulness and probably a little relief. I’m thankful that someone was actually nice enough to let me in AND I’m relieved that the guy behind me will finally stop creeping up closer and closer to my rear bumper because he’s impatient. When the opposite happens and no one lets me in, I get more irritated, I might mumble some curse words under my breath or loudly and the guy behind me continues to creep closer and closer to my rear bumper which really just makes things even worse. How different of a day will I have now? So please, let if you see, let me in traffic. I have a maroon Durango. Remember- be kind.
• COMPARISON- Comparison can be an ugly and self-destructive thing. AND combine that with social media and it’s even more dangerous. Stop comparing yourself to other people. You will never be them and you shouldn’t want or try to. I started doing CrossFit about 2 years ago and I remember when I first got there, people were lifting WAY more weight than me, getting through their workouts faster than me, and it used to bother me a lot. I’d load up the bar an try SO hard but I couldn’t even budge it in some cases and I’d end up leaving the gym disappointed and feeling defeated. AND the workouts just weren’t effective because I wasn’t using good form or I was trying too hard to keep up. Finally, I realized that the only person I needed to be better than was me. These people had been doing CrossFit way longer than I had and it wasn’t an even comparison. It’s just like that with anything. Your experiences are always going to be different from every one else’s and to compare your self to them would be a disservice to both of you. Always strive to be better than you were yesterday, even if it’s just a little bit. Let that be the bar with which you use to measure your progress, not someone else.
• RELATIONSHIP & CONNECTION- these are two concepts that work together. Have you ever been to a restaurant and seen people sitting together at a table all looking at their phones? That’s not connection; that’s separation. Take that time to be with each other. It’s like sitting together, but alone. I’m half expecting someone to text someone else to pass the salt. Something else I see, too often we are in our own boxes, our own segments whether it be political, religious, beliefs, race, gender and so much more. The one thing we ALL are is human. Strive to be connected with ALL people. The only way we can make a difference is by embracing each other’s differences and creating authentic relationships. You want to be a change agent? Get to know all other people and see all perspectives. You don’t have to agree and it will expand the lens with which you view the world.
• AUTHENTICITY- Always be authentically you. You do not have to fit in anyone else’s mold. God made each and every one of us different for a reason. He knew that we could each bring something different to the planet. Celebrate your uniqueness and see it as your strength. When you try to be something you aren’t, it hurts you and eventually, you’ll be “discovered.” Your beauty and gifts come from your individuality and your mark on the world will be a product of your courage to be truly you.

Almost done…

Here’s my challenge to you. You’re really at the beginning of your journey. You have energy and vision and way more power than you think you do. Each and every one of you can and will make your mark on the world. What it looks like is up to you. Enjoy this milestone, your graduation day. It’s special and important and marks something extraordinary. BUT, don’t get too comfortable, because you all have an impact to make and we’ll be watching.

Sincere congratulations to you all!

The post To All Graduates (And Pretty Much Everyone Else) of the Class of 2018 appeared first on Lisa Demmi.

We were talking about all kinds of things and then she said two words to me: “thank you.” She also said a bunch of other words but those two were the most important of the conversation. She went on to say that so often we forget to thank people and acknowledge them. She’s right and I’m totally guilty of that.

Now, how good do you think I felt when Krayl thanked me? I felt great! Here’s what’s really cool. You have the POWER to make someone feel great just by saying “thank you.” I know I always say this but this requires no preparation or special equipment. You don’t have to get ready to thank anyone- you just do it!

Here’s my challenge to you:
I want you to thank at least one person every day for the next week, seven days. You can thank someone who holds the door open, your best friend for checking in on you, your significant other for making you a nice dinner, and so on. Notice how it makes them feel. AND also, see how it makes YOU feel.

I bet you both feel amazing. So, thank YOU for reading this post!

Have a great day and be Magic!

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That’s ok. I decided this year I’d do the holidays on my own schedule.

This year has already flown by and I’d like to savor my favorite three months( you know, November, December and January- my birth month!)

I cherish this time of year. People are generally in better spirits and maybe, even a little nicer to each other. Ok, the exception is Black Friday when people are beating the crap out of each other to get a $45 74-inch flat screen at Walmart.

Think about it. We volunteer this time of year. We donate food, money, time. AND that’s all great! BUT, and it’s a big but, why now? Why not all year long? Don’t people need a little help at other times of the year? Isn’t kindness a gift you can give to anyone any day? I’m pretty sure I’d accept it anytime.

The way I see it? I’m WAY more fortunate than most people and if there’s something I can do to help someone, put a smile on their face or make things just a little bit easier, then why not do it?

Guess who wins? We all do.

So don’t save all your kindness for this time of the year. Do something every month, every day. AND it doesn’t have to be a grand gesture. It can be as small as saying “thank you,” holding a door open or smiling at someone.

Sometimes, that’s all people need. I promise you won’t be sorry.

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I know, I know – most people don’t want to be thought of as a quitter. AND quitting has a really negative connotation.

I want you to look at it a bit differently. Ask yourself these questions:

1. Have you ever stayed in a relationship longer than it was healthy?
2. Have you ever stayed at a job that you knew was it suited for you any longer?
3. Have you ever tried to get a cat to listen to you?

OK, I think you can see where I’m going here. Sometimes, quitting just makes sense. For me, I can get so caught up in the “doing” that I forget to look at the big picture. When you’re so close to something, it’s hard to see that the effort and the time invested in it isn’t going to make it work.

I’m not a huge fan of the phrase “cut your losses” but it seems appropriate here. When I look back at all the times I just should have “quit” I can see that there was a lot of time and work put into something that wasn’t serving me anymore. Instead of quitting, I kept trying to make it happen.

via GIPHY

If I haven’t spent all that time on those things what could I have actually done that may have helped me grow, feed my development, or just plain made me happy. All this said, I’m not looking at those times I should’ve quit as a fail or loss but as a learning opportunity.

Delatorro McNeal always says “win or learn.” That’s something I said to myself every day.

So, what have we learned today?

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The post Kindness appeared first on Lisa Demmi.

How did she show us? Let me give you a few examples.

Example #1
When we were growing up, our house was where all the kids ended up. Us, our friends, strays – my mom took them all in! She didn’t care who’s they were (eventually, they all became hers) or where they came from, as long as they were safe and cared for. And she was known for this by all of our friends.

Example #2
My parents owned an inspection company in the early 2000s. We rapidly grew to a team of 18 people. As you can imagine, my mom looked at all of them and their families as members of our family. When it was vacation time, we ALL went on vacation – together. My parents would rent out two complete buildings at the beach and everyone, their families included, would stay there for a week. You can imagine what a bond that forged between everyone.

Example #3
That same work family also exhibited something I’ll never forget to this day. Around 2009 or so, we all remember the housing market just tanked. Our business was built on that industry and we took a nosedive as well. There came a point when we couldn’t afford to pay people because we weren’t getting paid.

What happened?

Everyone stayed. They stayed out of love and loyalty to my parents. They had been so generous to the team that there was no way that anyone was going anywhere without my parents. That continued for several months until we finally had to shut the business down. They were all more concerned about what would happen to my parents than their own welfare. That says more about my parents than anything I can think of.

There are so many other examples that I just can’t list here. Suffice it to say that my parents, spearheaded by the enormous generosity of my mother, are beloved to so many.

That’s a legacy that’s worth living for and leaving behind.

And that’s truly SMALL MAGIC.

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