I know that she’s the person who taught me so many lessons and molded me into the person I am today AND I promised to share those small magic lessons with you.
As mentioned before, my mom came from the era when women stayed home and kept house while the men earned the money, and let’s face it, had a life outside of home. When she reentered the workforce, it was both exciting and scary for her.
I believe this is when life really started for my mom. Along this journey and for as long as I can remember, my mom was always 100% herself. Often times, unapologetically so. She never made excuses about only having a high school diploma and secretarial certificate. She was, and still is, who she is at all times.
And she instilled that in me at a young age. That’s magical! So often, we try to be something we’re not. We try to fit in others’ boxes/definitions of what we should be. That can really screw you up. Even with my mom’s encouragement, I’ve struggled. But let me tell you about one place I haven’t.
I was born gay. I was also born into a very traditional Catholic family. I learned from a young age that being gay meant I was a bad person, I would not be accepted, and I thought I was truly going to hell because I was a sinner.
My mom had other plans.
When my mom suspected I was gay, she asked me. I told her yes and that was it. After a few minutes she told me that she still loved me and that nothing had changed about our relationship. The only thing she was upset about was that she hadn’t been able to be there for me when I was trying to figure it out. Well she didn’t go out of her way to mention she had a gay daughter, but she also didn’t censor herself or shy away from the topic. If someone mentioned something in a derogatory manner about gays, my mom was quick to jump in and “school” then.
Because of her, my being gay has always been a non-issue in our family and with friends. She never let me think it was a hindrance or negative in anyway. And as far as I know, I have never suffered nor lost because I’m gay. She made it no big deal and so it’s never been a big deal to me. To this day I am not aware of not being accepted by anyone because of it. Not a lot of lot of my friends could say they had that kind of support from their parents, whether it was being gay, taking an unusual life path, what have you.
My mom, all 5’1″ of her, gave me a small magic of being who I am and being good with that. Besides birth, that is the greatest gift she’s ever given me.